Under Emotional

Who's seen the episode of Sex and the City when Miranda found out she was having a boy? I listened to the Directors Cut edition where he explains how he wanted Miranda's reaction of pregnancy to be unlike any other reaction seen on television where she finds out she is having a boy.
Ultrasound tech: "I know the sex do you wanna know??"
Miranda: Um, sure...
Ultrasound tech: It's a BOY!!
Miranda: (nods her head) okay...
Ultrasound tech: It's a Boy! Aren't you excited??!
Miranda: (musters up her fakeness) Oh yes!! Oh boy o boy! It's a boy!!

This episode cracks me up! Like I love that Miranda's true feelings are shown in this episode. She was an underemotional pregnant woman just like me! Even though she's a television character, I really could relate as I wasn't experiencing the excitement as I talked about in the previous blog.

Pregger women are usually perceived to be super overly emotional and cry at anything. Man, I'm just the opposite. My friends call me the "Tin Woman" I will proudly wear the hat!

How under emotional am I? Did anyone see My Sisters Keeper or even a movie like John Q, Steel Magnolios, or any really, really emotional film? Well in My Sisters Keeper, I went with our bookclub. 8 of the girls were BOO-HOOING! I mean crying like they had just missed the rapture. I had no tears. I never have tears unless I have backpain.

Another instance was when I didn't mind friends coming to my mid-pregnancy ultrasound. My husband said he wanted it to be private celebration for the two of us. I couldn't believe it! My usual hard exterior hubby wanted a private moment. To me, it was just another appointment where a friend could join if I wanted. My friend laughed at me and said "What is wrong with you! That's private!!" Oh really? Lol, my bad.

Are you excited??!

Another annoying question I've noticed while pregnant is, "Oh em gee! Are you excited??!!@EK#) 

This answer is usually followed by a mustered up fake, "Mmhmm!" just to appease the person asking. If my mother was around when people asked me that, she'll say "oh pay her no mind, that's just Laura." 

But I had to ask myself why wasn't I feeling the feelings of excitement. Even after the majority of morning sickness passed I was still searching for the missing feelings. I started to wonder if I was a bad person or a future bad mother for not feeling the excitement. The little things that other sappy mothers (Steph) would be super excited for like the hearing the heartbeat, doctors appointments or the anticipation of labor, I just didn't feel the same way.

I was telling these feelings to a good college friend and she explained to me that she felt like I did while pregnant. Her words were encouraging to me. God had told her that having a baby is a blessing, yes, but just like any new relationship, you have yet to get to know and develop a bond/relationship with the child. So it is okay, if you do not have those initial feelings that some mothers have. It does not mean you are a bad person or horrible future mother. It just means it will take time to develop those feelings, but they will come. 

Thanks, my college friend. I felt much better after that. 

Back Pain

In my 3rd month of pregnancy I started having some really intense back pain. It would come around 4 times a week for about 10-30 minutes or so.  The pain was so intense that I couldn't move whenever it would overtake me. All I could do was cry through the pain.

Friend: Hey Laura

Me: Hi (sobbing) 

Friend: OMG, are you okay? 

Me: No, I'm dying...

Friend: What? Shut up? What's wrong?!

Me: My baaaack. (Sob)Killin me, I'm dying. (Sob) If I die, you can have my Tiffany beads.

Friend: Shut up! I mean, but I'll wear them mugs though. 

On that day I had to head to the doctor because the back pain was accompanied by abdomen cramping and shooting pains. I had a UTI-typical in pregnancy, slight kidney infection (um ok) and possible kidney stones...for real? WTH?! It seemed as though pregnancy was only getting better and better. The doc checked to make sure I wasn't experiencing any contractions or symptoms of pre-term labor, which I wasn't, thank God. It just was a lot of pain for 18 weeks. 

I was ordered to do a kidney ultrasound which was clean. The doc told me my kidneys were "beautiful". Which meant that my pain for the moment was just pregnancy...I wanted to cry again, but since I'm under emotional in this pregnancy (more about that later) I didn't. Instead I developed my usual bad attitude, thanked God for clean kidneys and went on about my day. 

"So what can I do for the pain?" I asked my doc. Then he gave me words I love to hear...

"Ya know pregnancy is strange, they say you can't drink, have coffee or whatever. You can't have aspirin or motrin...but you can have NARCOTICS!"

Tylenol 3s for me! Thanks Doc! 

The cheesy stuff!

So I'm 29 years old and in my entire life I have never ate more than a spoonful of macaroni and cheese, prior to spitting it out. I wanted to like mac n cheese, it looked good, smelled good and pretty much everyone I've ever known loves the stuff. But me.

I visited my BFFs house where her mom had made some of the cheesy stuff. I hadn't been able to eat all day. I had heard and experienced that your taste can really change in pregnancy. So I decided to try the cheesy stuff. Heck why not?

One bite and the past 29 years seemed to make no sense.

This stuff was AWESOME!

I could eat mac n cheese! I was beyond excited and had to call all my family and friends to tell them about it. They welcomed me into the club.

It took 29 years for me to love mac n cheese. My BFFs mom looked in shock as I ate the cheesy stuff, "Well, pregnancy will do it to ya!" she said.

Food- Friend and Foe

Food can be a pregnant woman's best friend or worst enemy. Kinda like your husband or that ex-boyfriend that you've completely erased from your memory. 

Some foods/drinks that helped me-

Strawberry toast

french fries

oatmeal

salad* 

Whopper Jr. 

Hated it!

Orange juice

Grapefruit

Cheerios

Aruba Nachos- that turned super ugly

How?

Warning: TMI

As my tummy gets bigger, I find it increasingly hard to wash my butt in the shower I can't reach it! I had to ask my sister how I'm supposed to do it...she told me to just 'lean wit' it, rock wit' it'! So that's what I did. 

I guess it works.

Who would have thought that would have ever been an issue? Not I. 

"I don't throw up" (Insert Smug Look)

11 weeks, I was at our bookclub pamper party and let out an enormous burp. YUCK. I burp all the time since I've been pregnant (ok I burped a lot before too) but now it sounds like I'm going to hurl all my guts right onto the floor. So a friend responded with:
Friend: "Are you going to throw up?"
Laura: (Insert smug look) "I don't throw up"
I stuck my nose up in the air and walked away. I don't throw up! I'm 11 weeks! I've made it almost through my first trimester and had escaped the ugly world of vomitting. I was so proud!I had not turned into my sister who couldn't keep water down if she wanted to. I was on my way.

...Until one Tuesday morning going in for my check up, I had drowned a glass of good ole OJ. I began to feel an upsetting movement in my stomach. "Ughhh" I said. The next thing I knew I was sweating bullets as I stood over the toilet, hoping that my glasses didn't fall into the bowl below.

I had thrown up.

UGHHHH.

I thought I was different? NOT.

This was followed by many episodes throughout until I was 18 weeks. I'm 20 now, hopefully it doesn't come back.

You would think throw up knew not to appear while you are in your car. My dear husband was driving home and I was in the front seat. I burped and felt it coming up so I reached for a plastic bag. I guess I was too slow because it (cupcakes and ice cream w/ sprinkles) ended up all over my legs (was wearing shorts) in the car. GROSS!!!! And yes, I could see the sprinkles. Ahhh the joys!

Sidenote: I...how about that? I forgot what I was going to say. Pregger brain!